Surprize anal

I mean, how would you feel if someone unexpectedly shoved a cucumber up your asshole and then was like "What? Should I have asked first? Apparently, British GQ disagrees. I mean ugh, consent? Who needs it, right? In Banhan's defense, she does say that if your partner isn't into it you should stop.
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When is surprise anal okay?

Surprise anal is where a guy, probably a Captain Brownsword , starts by patrolling a bar until he comes across a female wearing a short dress or skirt, sitting on a high bar stool. Captain Brownsword will then check to make sure the lady in question is; A - Definitely a lady B - A willing participant He will be able to tell she is a willing participant because she will be wearing no pants and her rim will be glistening with lube. Brownsword will then flop out his John Thomas and steam into the womens brown pipe , totally ignoring the pink, right there in the bar. Considerately, It will take him approximately 2 mins to blow his load all over her rim, giving her ample time to come twice. He then then puts his sword back in its scabbath and leaves the lucky lady quivering on her bar stool, covered in his holy water.
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