Photo by Jan Zhukov on Unsplash Always, always, always pee after sex. Nothing — and I mean absolutely fucking nothing — is worse than the burning sensation of a UTI or infection. A lot. Buy vibrators and anal beads and ball gags and fucking machines. Let someone spank your ass until it turns raw like a chicken breast.
Photograph: Supplied by LMK Most people, even non-smokers, have their favourite smoking moments from films. Well, maybe not the most rabid anti-smokers, but those people probably don't even have a favourite film, unless it's something safely dire, like Beaches. There, I've declared my credentials. I am a smoker: not a proud smoker, but certainly proudly anti rabid-anti-smoking and its tyrannies: denials of choice and of personal responsibility. Languidly and stylishly but, somehow, with fury : "No. The sign says 'Thank you for not smoking'. As I am smoking, I don't expect to be thanked.